Poppin’ Cherries, Taking Names: Virgin Questions Pt. 1

April 24th, 2008 by ClickHereForAGoodTime | Posted in Boyfriend, Condom, Friend, Marriage, Sex, Temptation, Virginity | No Comments »

So I’ve been getting a couple questions lately from you lovable virgins out there. So much in fact that I’ve decided to dedicate a couple posts to you. Enjoy!

Amber asks:

I am a 15 year old christian teenager, my mom is a pastor/prophetess. Anyways, I believe that I fell in love with someone already. I think he could possibly be THE ONE, and I’ve prayed to God that if he wasn’t to give me a sign and or take away the feelings I have for him, which hasn’t happened yet. Jacques is 17 yrs old and is going to be a senior this upcoming school year. Afterwards, he is looking forward to moving far away from Maryland. The topic came up about having sex and we both decided together that we shouldn’t. But we both realize that we do have really strong feelings for each other and we ALSO realize that if we are given too much rope we WILL hang ourselves. Do you have any advice for us on how to stay pure?

Marvin: Amber, you sound like a pretty mature 15 year old; It’s great that you’re able to have a dialogue about sex with your boyfriend at your age, it’s something even some adults struggle with. I’m not so sure how I feel about you asking God to give you a sign if your boyfriend Jacque isn’t THE ONE. Before I go into the whole “staying pure” part of your question I just want to let you know that as strong as your feelings are right now, it would be wise to abstain from sex at your age because you truly don’t know what love is. I’m not sure how many people you’ve dated but falling in love, REALLY falling at love at 15 just doesn’t happen. Those relationships don’t usually last through High School because often times we as people change or we move away for college or generally we just fuck things up somehow. You’ve already mentioned that your boyfriend is planning to move far away from MD after graduation. So what if you were to have sex with your boyfriend and then he moved away? Would you be able to keep that relationship going? I’m gonna be blunt here; probably not.

I realize that you may have strong feelings for each other and it’s a good thing that you both agreed against having sex. What do you do with your strong feelings though? You don’t ignore them, you just don’t act on the need to feel intimate with somebody. There are so many other ways to be intimate without having a guys dick inside you. I don’t know what you consider “pure” but I do know that at your age you’re probably better off not having sex.

My advice to you is to avoid all forms of sex: oral, vaginal, anal, god knows people have figured something else out there. What you could try though to get your pre-pubescent kinkiness out is erotic stories. You two could talk on the phone or write out some of the things you wish you could do to each other. Yeah..that’ll get you plenty hot and bothered. Or you guys can just go and have full out phone sex, telling each other hot, sexy things while masturbating on the other side of the phone. Lastly the only other thing I can recommend is mutual masturbation. When you just get really horny sit with each other and touch yourself or have him touch you, whatever works, and enjoy yourselves. No need for penis/vagina contact but you have to set your limits early on because once a guy gets horny…no telling what he’ll do or talk you into doing. Oh…and if thats a little too kinky for you right now…just make out a whole bunch. It’s great.

I still have trouble believing 15 year olds are thinking about sex. You guys should be studying your three R’s, Reading, ‘Riting and ‘Rithmetic. On a separate and almost totally unrelated note, be careful searching for a stock photo of a “virgin” or “chaste” or “pure” woman. They…essentially don’t exist but theres a ton of porn!

Terry asks:

hi i am male age 23 i have a religious back round so we dont have sex untill marrige but up untill the age of 23 only 5 weeks ago i couldnt keep it anylonger it got harder and i dont know why anyway i still say to myself im still a virgin because i didnt have full sex and it was with a condem and for 5 mins and no touching or kissing or anything please could u anser my questions. am i still a virgin? if not then wht am i now? give me a good reason to stay away from sex now please and how can i help myself and why is it getting harder the more i grow? is it something to do with 23? i thought it was harder at 18.? please tell me why is it important to stay a virgin what is a virgin alous to do? is he aloud to kiss? please reply thnx

Marvin: What the fuck are you going on about man? You had sex for only 5 minutes with a condom and there was no touching or kissing? So you either fucked a goat, a prostitute, or a couch cushion. Whatever it is you fucked, if your penis was in their vagina or ass then chances are you’re probably not a virgin. What do you mean you didn’t have “full” sex? Does that mean you didn’t cum? Does it mean that you were a half human/half wolf hybrid at the time of penis insertion? Does it mean you weren’t emotionally involved with the person/place/thing that you fucked? It’s all so confusing.

You’re probably not a virgin now, but theres no way I can tell you what you are exactly because I’m not even sure what you fucked. You could be a person who practices bestiality, a crazy guy who fucked a doorknob or simply…not a virgin.

There is NO good reason I can give you NOT to have sex. I’m not Jesus, what do you expect from me a Christmas Miracle? Sex is a part of life and as a man you will have an uncontrollable urge for it. No it doesn’t have to do with the number/age 23, as some films might have you believe. It’s really just simple…men are a horny bunch and you couldn’t contain yourself. You’re not a virgin anymore fucktard, you can’t consider yourself a virgin and if you tell your future wife you’re a virgin you deserved to be shot in the face. What is a 23 year old virgin “alous” to do you ask? They’re allowed to disclose the things they fucked, they’re allowed to use a spellchecker or have someone proofread their question before they submit, and they’re allowed to be yelled at by me on my blog. Congratulations Terry, not only are you a Non-Virgin, you’re also a jackass.

P.S- I can’t let you get nothing from this post. You’re not a virgin anymore. Age has nothing to do with it getting harder, just more time to dwell on it. It’s not particularly important at all to stay a virgin. And…virgins are “allowed” to kiss and touch as long as it doesn’t lead to oral/vaginal/anal penetration of any sort. Once you pass that point, probably not a virgin anymore.

Linda asks:

My best friend and her boyfriend have had sex already and my boyfriend and I haven’t. I want to a few years (I’m 15), but my boyfriend and my friend’s boyfriend are best friends.

I think he feels upset and maybe thinks I don’t love him, but he has never said that. I know I’m not ready for sex, but what can I do to stay with my boyfriend and for us both to be happy?

Marvin: You’re 15, you’ll probably break up next week. You SHOULD not be thinking about having sex. Your best friends a whore, don’t follow her example. If your boyfriend is upset that he’s not getting any then he’s an ass and you should dump him. Don’t ever feel pressured into doing anything, especially sex. You are worth so much more than that. If a guy really loves you then he needs to realize that nothing goes down unless you say you’re ready. You’re worth the wait. If he can’t deal with that then you’re better off, trust me. The last thing you want to do is look back and realize that the first time you had sex was with a person that hurt you or didn’t care about you.

You need to have an open dialogue with your boyfriend about sex and let him know that you’re not willing to go there just yet and you don’t know when you will be. If he’s a good guy he won’t let it get to him. If he gets pissed off, it probably means he was only after sex in the first place.

-Marvin

To submit your questions please contact us at: mail@ClickHereForAGoodTime.com

Relationships that control you

April 18th, 2008 by ClickHereForAGoodTime | Posted in Alchohol, Breakup, Cheating, Confront, Controlling, Drunk, Forgiveness, Friend, Men, Teenager, Trust, Women | No Comments »

On to the questions!

Sabrina asks,

I have a man I’ve been dating for a long time, I have strong feelings for him. But he’s possessive of me.

For example, I decided to spend the night with a friend. I called him and told him so he wouldnt worry. Well sure enough 10 minutes later he’s here. Not in a bad way, he’s very very passive. So we let him in thinking he brought me something I forgot. Nope, he sits on the couch and stays there. I’m not going to tell him to leave, and neither is she… and i realize he’s acting like my father and wont leave until I do… kind of like when you’re on a date in jr high.

Or if he wants to go to the store for a drink, he will pretty much go crazy and get pissy if I don’t come, so I go, even if I’m in the middle of something i’m enjoying, just to avoid his spoiled four year old passive fit.

I love him for everything else…. it’s this sh*t that’s f**king up the relationship… how do I break it to him that he’s being creepy and to stop? every time i criticize him he gets mad. im 23….he is 27 but I dont want to leave him… just yet… i want to see if he can realize i’m not his daughter.

Marvin: Hmm, so how do you tell him he’s creepy and to stop? Well have you tried saying “Honey, I love you and all but you’re being creepy! Stop!”

I don’t know, maybe I’m just an old fashioned kind of guy but I feel like just telling someone how you feel does wonders. It’s obvious he’s being way too controlling. To be honest, it worries me. You guys aren’t even married, imagine if you were. He sounds like the guy who wouldn’t even let you have friends. He’s seriously being a 4 year old child throwing a temper tantrum. Life doesn’t work that way.

Stand up for yourself and just don’t let him boss you around. You are your own person, you can do whatever you want and if he doesn’t like that then he can fuck off. No relationship is without its problems but sometimes the problems that do exist are dealbreakers. To me, this sounds like a deal breaker. If he invades your friends house again, ask him to leave; and if he doesn’t, call the police on his ass. He needs to know that you’re not playing games. If you let him get his way, he’ll keep pushing for it. I’m just worried that one day he’ll take his controlling ways too hard and end up hurting you. Talk with him, let him know that you’re upset about some of the things he does. If he doesn’t make an honest attempt, you’re going to have to move on.

Tanya asks:

ok so i just went through a break up and i feel like sh*t. like its completely my fault event though i know it was his fault-he admit it. and i just dont wanna deal with anything lately. like i put on this facade of being ok wen inside im dying.and i feel like crying like everyday.i know break-ups are tough. but he used to be my best friend and i would tell him everyting now i have noone to turn to. i thought about just ending it all or running away. i dont know how to deal. i cant go to anyone about my frustration. i hate him so much for doing this to me. im never going to take anyone seriously or trust or confide in anyone ever again. a part of me wants to be friends like he said but i know ill fall for him again.im torn apart. i cant deal with this, what do i do?

Marvin: You sound young. You sound a lot like I did the first time a girl broke my heart, and you know what? It really doesn’t get better as the years go by, there will be more bastards that will get close to you and then hurt you. If you honestly think that you’ll never be able to trust or confide in anyone again then you’re just going to be lonely.

You WILL get over this guy and you WILL learn to trust people again. There is a bright side to this, though right now it’s probably hard to see. With every failed relationship comes a new piece of wisdom. You exhaust all the wrong choices and as you get older you start choosing the right guys. You’ll have your baggage, we all do but you’ll learn to deal with it.

Cry if you need to cry, sometimes thats what we need to deal with a breakup. You’ll find someone else that makes you feel amazing and you can share things with. I don’t know what it is he did to you but it’s probably for the best that you broke up.

Any guy worth crying over won’t make you cry.

Ray asks:

Yesterday My girlfriend of 8 months came to see me and i was drunk and then my girl broke up with me. Is it normal for me not to care?

Marvin: It’s certainly normal to feel that way when your partner of 8 months has just broken up with you. I mean as long as you’re an asshole. You’re in luck though my friend, you seem like an asshole. Not just your run of the mill asshole either. You bring your assholery to new heights. It’s like you can’t ever stop short of perfection and you’ve perfected being an asshole so well you’re getting book deals. Seriously, I mean wow you don’t even fucking care. You’re a class act there buddy. I’m actually glad you don’t care because she deserves so much better than you. Hopefully natural selection will do away with you and you’ll die a horrible death while pissing on an electric fence. Give Jack Daniel’s my regards.

-Marvin

To submit your questions please contact us at: mail@ClickHereForAGoodTime.com

Leading People On Sucks!

April 16th, 2008 by ClickHereForAGoodTime | Posted in Anal Sex, Breakup, Cheating, Confront, Friend, Kissing, Leading People On, Love, Masturbation, Men, Myspace, Sex, Teenager, Trust, Virginity | No Comments »

Mike asks:

Ive been friends with my neighbor (a girl) for a while now and we were strictly friends until she told me she liked me recently. She pretty much said that she didn’t want a relationship but whatever happens, happens i guess. Ive never really been attracted to her like that (she isn’t hot but she isn’t ugly) but im a virgin and im cravin some action so should i just go with it if it happens and let it be like a friends with benefits sort of thing or no? I wanna keep the friendship we have so take that into consideration. Thanks.

Marvin: Mike, a bit presumptuous aren’t we? You haven’t even gone out with this girl and you’re already thinking you can get in her pants. Just because she likes you doesn’t mean you’re getting any action. I don’t know how old you two are but she might not even be at a point where she wants to sleep with anyone. If you’re a virgin there’s definitely a chance she is as well and when it comes to women and virginity some of them aren’t really willing to fuck the first person that comes along like men are. Here’s what I suggest you do, just hang out with her. Don’t have any expectations of getting laid or whatever, just hang out and have a good time. If it happens, sweet. If not, oh well. With the way you talk it sounds like you’re a bit of a douche. Girls have feelings too and if you hurt them you’ll regret it. Or you SHOULD regret it.

If you really want to stay friends with your neighbor the safest thing to do is not have sex with them. It’ll ruin everything. Banish those thoughts, jack off a billion times a day. The action you “crave” will come one day. If you really want to stay friends, don’t even think about penetrating her vaginally, orally or anally. Theres no shame in being a virgin. If you want to ruin a good friendship but get laid in the process go with your gut instinct. Don’t mess with her heart though. Don’t tell her things you don’t mean just to get laid.

Stephanie asks,

Im 19, I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years and this boy who i went to highschool with, and always thought was cute, messaged me on myspace. He hadnt ever really talked to me before, but he saw i was single and he asked me to hang out with him sometime. I of course just being recently single and not knowing if i was going to get back with my boyfriend told him i wasn’t ready to go out with someone just yet. Me and my boyfriend end up getting back together but I thought the guy who messaged me on myspace was cool and wanted to keep talking to him so i added him on Instant Messenger. For about a month now we have been talking every night on AIM. He just seems really cool, and yeah i would like him if i didnt have a boyfriend but i do. When we talk he always kind of flirts with me, but i dont really flirt with him back, i just really like talking to him. So a few days ago, i put on my myspace about me “i have an amazing boyfriend who i love more than anything.” And ever since i put that up the boy who i talk to on aim hasnt really been talking to me much. Like i’ll try texting him and he wont talk back. Or when i talk to him on aim he says hes tired and hes going to bed. He just seems kinda short with me. I get the feeling hes avoiding me. Do you think i should keep trying to talk to him or just back off, and not try to message him anymore? Or should i confront him about it and ask him if something is wrong. I really need some good advice. Thanks!

Marvin: You already know whats wrong. He liked you and you lead him on. You never once mentioned that you told him that you and your b/f got back together. I don’t know whether you told him or not but if the first time he found out was when he read your myspace, thats a problem. In all honesty, if the shoe was on the other foot you’d be upset too. What if you liked someone and talked to them every night and thought everything was going well until you find out unexpectedly that they’ve been with someone for months? It would make you feel like shit.

Why do you feel the need to string this guy along? It sounds like you’re making him your spare. Just in case you break up with your ex again under more serious circumstances you have a spare to go to. I don’t really buy the fact that you just want to be his friend, you already said you liked him. ” I would like him if i didnt have a boyfriend but i do.” Yeah, that’s bullshit. You don’t like someone only on the condition that you’re single. If you like someone, you like them. Period.  The fact that you feel the need to confront him about it only supports my theory that you like him and just keep him around for your own benefit.

Do him a favor and let him go. You don’t deserve a friend like him, not when you hurt him that way. You should have told him when he was flirting with you that you had a b/f and that it was inappropriate. You obviously knew he liked you.

Just let him go.

-Marvin

To submit your questions please contact us at: mail@ClickHereForAGoodTime.com